My positive, supportive, wise inner voice! She is my advocate. She is invested in the “authentic me”.
Last week I wrote about how I wanted to find an image to illustrate the concept of My Girlfriend Voice. Here is how I see this wonderfully positive, supportive and wise woman who resides in my Soul. This is what I see today and perhaps the look will change with the seasons……. Putting a face with a name helps me connect with her!
What does your Girlfriend Voice look like?
In this moment, she is telling you that you are beautiful and everything you need to be. You are good enough. You are a gift to the world! Can you hear her speaking to you?
From the heart,
The latest cover of Psychology Today says “Your Inner Voice; How to Talk to Yourself and Why it Matters”. I feel so validated! My Girlfriend Voice is my Inner Voice—the positive inner voice—she keeps me safe and sane. She helps drowned out the cacophony of critical voices ruminating in the back corners of my mind. Can you believe there was no mention of me in the article? (LOL- I talk and laugh at myself! So there!)
One of the key findings in the article is that HOW you conduct your inner monologue influences the success level of the tool. It says in lieu of using “I”, let your inner voice call you by name, i.e. “Caramia, you need to give yourself the same compassion you give to others.” The work of Dr. Ethan Kross cites that when you personalize the message in this way, there is a higher level of confidence and successful performance. The why of how of his theory is well worth the read. (June 2015 issue)
After a particularly stressful weekend, I chose to spend Sunday afternoon following my own advice. I happy to say I’ve made the transition from THINKING about what is good for me to actually DOING what is good for me. MGV advised me to sit with my emotions and cry it out, jot down my thoughts whether they made sense or not and finally, do something creative. I was thankful she didn’t say go exercise so I got out my art supplies before she changed her mind!
At the dementia center where I volunteer, I heard myself saying that I wasn’t an artist like my brother and father. A woman asked me how I knew I couldn’t draw if I had never tried? This is one of those moments when I think the voice of an angel is channeling through a mortal being. Truth being I don’t really know. I considered myself a failure without ever trying!
Back to my pencil and paper. If I created a visual image for My Girlfriend Voice, what would she look like?
I know MGV is a colorful, free spirited soul. She has big eyes and an easy smile. Of course she has good hair and great personal style. Applying my vision to paper is a dizzyingly curious and delightful exercise. I’m getting lost in the process!
What does your Girlfriend Voice look like? Please describe her for me! Post her picture…. I promise to post my creation both here and on our Facebook page once I find her. The image I posted today titled. “Find Yourself,” is innocent yet hauntingly wise and she reminds me that we often put on one face publicly while hiding the face of our authentic self. Sometimes we don’t know who she is and sometimes we don’t like who we are. A whole blog topic in itself!
In closing, Lisa M. Hayes said it beautifully. “Be careful how you talk to yourself because you are listening!”
From the heart,
For many years when I to had to tackle a huge task, especially a stressful situation, I would resort to my super hero powers. I channeled something to the likes of Xena Warrior Princess. I’d have the grit and energy of a fierce mama bear protecting her cubs but I’d be glowing sexy hot donning a leather skirt and bikini top. Fighting for the greater good while kicking ass!
When I wasn’t channeling Xena, I comfortably fell into my other mode; the Gumby mode. Gumby was cute and flexible and a perfect shade of green. Gumby bends over backward with ease, happily putting others needs in front of his/her own. BUT when I became Gumby, I’d ultimately stretch myself too thin and become no good to anyone. Flexibility was a exhausting!
There was no middle mode or neutral gear. I was either Xena or Gumby or kinda of blank; lights on but no one home. Emotions were tucked away for another time because I had little time (or desire) to feel unsettled. It was quite exhausting to jump from one extreme to the other but I knew no other way. It wasn’t like my friends and I were talking about these things. We all had perfect lives; or so we thought.
Attention please: That was then and this is now. Xena and Gumby have been retired!
Giving myself permission to operate differently was the first step in this transformation. It required a leap of faith! I was venturing outside of a comfortable operating system and playing around with an unvalidated update! I had to believe that I had the capacity and the ability to deal with a wider range of emotions. I had to willingly sit with my emotions; even the ones that are uncomfortable. I vowed to remain openhearted and committed.
Happily I discovered that my new operating system included a super hero power which I affectionately call, “THE FORCE”. The force is like a blanket of reassurance which grounds me while at the same time, unveils a vast resource of possibility. I feel an energy surge around me, whispering “slow down”. I am able to weigh the options and remain authentic; objective and compassionate. I don’t have to become a warrior because my power is confident, quiet and as such is far more effective.
Is learning a new skill easy? Heck no. Operating in a new mode is like learning a new skill. It takes practice so I have to remind myself all the time to focus on my progress. I am not going to beat myself up striving for perfection. I allow myself to feel and there are times when I am overwhelmed so I have to take a break to refresh myself by not thinking or feeling anything at all. Other times I embrace the FORCE and let the whoop ass fly!
The Force helps me find WHAT IS TRUE. Isn’t that what really matters– the TRUTH?
I know, you are probably wondering...