“I” Before “E” except when you choke! 4th grade fail childhood memories choke under pressure emotions & emotional inventory mindset matters ready to recieve spelling bee

Let me take you back to one of my strongest childhood memories. It’s the 4th Grade spelling bee and the winner of this competition will compete with all winners from the entire district.

The last two contenders are myself and one of my best friends, Laura Hanlin.

Announcer: “The word is Receive. Please spell receive.”

Before I know it I spell is R-E-C-I-E-V-E. BUZZER SOUNDS. Wrong!

Announcer: “Laura, please spell “Receive”. She responds, “R-E-C-E-I-V-E.”

And the crowd roars as Laura is crowned Moccasin Elementary School Spelling Bee Champion!!!!!!!

Why am I haunted by this memory? Because I felt intensely humiliated by making a silly mistake. How could I mess up on a word that has a mnemonic as a rule of thumb? And why does mnemonic start with the letter “M”??? So confusing and English is my first (and only) language!

The brain is designed to hold onto intense emotional information to protect us — to remind us not to make the same mistake twice. Believe me, I won’t make THIS mistake twice. Andas my memory ages, thank goodness for Spellcheck!

And although my young ego was crushed, I survived. I didn’t lose any friends. I only lost face. In fact, I wonder if anyone even remembers my fall from greatness? I’ll have to check in with Laura.

I find it funny that the word “RECEIVE” keeps coming to my attention. There must be some relevance to my enhanced awareness. Is the Universe asking me if I am open to receive? Let’s take a closer look………

  • Receive money? Oh yes, I like money.
  • Receive romance? Ooh la la! I like the idea love and romance. I desire a committed relationship with an emotionally available, adventurous, healthy, intelligent, tall and kind man. (Why not be specific??)
  • Receive compliments? Yes. No. Sometimes. This is a work in progress. Compliments can still make me uncomfortable.
  • Receive feedback? Honestly, it depends on who’s giving the feedback! If I trust you then yes, I am ready to receive. If I don’t trust you then hell no! Case closed.
  • Receive spiritual guidance? Yes, yes PLEASE. Open to receive.

This little exercise has proven quite fruitful! I am feeling FABULOUS now and it only took forty six years to see the silver lining! If I had spelled the word RECEIVE correctly and gone on to world domination, I may not have paused long enough to care about this or anything for that matter! It’s all worked out perfectly.

Ready to R-E-C-E-I-V-E


From the heart,


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