Cutting Down the Tall Poppies
You may be able to relate to these thoughts. You are at your exercise class and you can’t help but zero in on the one person present that doesn’t seem to sweat. Her moves are effortless, completely graceful and actually beautiful to observe. I on the other hand grab a sweat rag because I drip rather than glow as soon as I exert any effort! For a few seconds I think I hate that seemingly tight bodied perfect woman!
A few more seconds go by and I stop hating her as my thoughts lighten and move toward gratitude. I feel a sense of awe at her dedication and while I know nothing of her personal story, she works hard at staying healthy. I applaud her. I am inspired by her. I want to be more like her! I’m in love with the perfect girl!
But what if I didn’t let my hateful feelings evaporate? My stinging annoyance would build into burning resentment and soon all of my thinking would be TOXIFIED. Unknowingly, the woman becomes the target of my rage – the dartboard for my dart.
This is an example of Tall Poppy Syndrome. According to the illustrious Wikipedia, it is defined as a pejorative term primarily used in Anglosphere nations to describe a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticized because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.
I can relate to being the Tall Poppy. Being a former beauty queen, you would think I would be comfortable about my appearance but I still have trouble accepting a compliment! I feel far more comfortable hiding in a group – wanting to be average. Please know me as smart, not pretty! I wanted to be beige as to not attract too much attention. I was fighting against my need to shine because somehow shining was and is too dangerous.
I wanted to known by you but not seen by you. I’m complicated that way.
Over the years I have become comfortable in my own skin. I could really appreciate how Selma Hayek said in an interview with Oprah, “You simply have to be who you are. Yes, I am beautiful. I have thighs and a butt. I have cellulite. I fight with it every day. I don’t exercise. I eat pork and I love red wine. But yes, I am beautiful and famous—and yet the things I like about myself have nothing to do with that…..” YES! She is more than her looks or her fame.
Last week a friend asked me how I managed to remain so positive despite years of struggle. She said, “You make life look so easy and sometimes I just have to hate you.” We laughed and I deeply appreciate her honesty. I told her that I still have days when I can’t get off the couch because my emotions overwhelm me but in general I have developed some pretty good coping...
CategoriesAll Categories #49thbirthday #accentuatethepositive #aclu #addictedtodrama #affirmations #ageless #ahamoment #airportstories #alistergirlfriends #allow #allpersonsarecreatedequal #antihate #askforhelp #beauty #begentle #beherenow #bekind #bepresent #bodypositive #brokenpeople #bruisedheart #celebrate #charlottesville #classiccara #climbingoutofdarkness #codependentrelationships #communication #empowerment #healthyrelationships #wecantallbethesame #communicationstrategies #communicationwithcoworkers #confidenceisbeautiful #consequencesofbeingyou #dontgiveupthefight #ihavearighttobeme #advocacy #resilience #opioidepidemic #fiercemama #consistentlycara #controleverythingenjoynothing #controlfreak #crackingmyselfupagain #doitmyway #doodleinstitute #emotionalexercise #emotionallyunavailable #emptynester #enablingbadbehavior #feardrivestheneedforcontrol #findyourhappy #findyourvoice #followyourdreams #forgiveforyoursake #forgiveyourself #fourtypesoffriends #friendshipdemystified #gentlegiant #giftgiving #givetime #gratitude #emotionalhealth #gratitudegains #groundedingratitude #happinesshasnoshelflife #happinessisachoice #happinessisaninsidejob #happynewyear #hatecrimes #hatersgonnahate #highonhope #holdingagrudge #humandecency #iamresponsibleformyhappiness #intersectionofvulerabilityandempowerment #itsoktosayno #leavingthecomfortzone #letgoofthepast #lettinggo #lisasonoraartist #doodledaily #listenin #liveinthemoment #loseyournegativity #lovingmyself #makenewfriends #maytheforcebewithyou #merntalhealth #mindbodyconnection #mrrogers #mygirlfriendvoice #mygirlfriendvoice #comingtotherescue #myhappinesslingers #mysuperpower #nami #newbeginnings #nomoretears #nonviolentcommunication #officepolitics #over50female #pauseforpoise #payitforward #peri10k #personalresponsibility #practicegratitude #questioneverything #quietpower #respondnotreact #riseup #seedsofhope #selfawareness #selfcare #selflove #setboundaries #shareasmile #shinebright #showappreciation #sittingindiscomfort #slowdown #soulsister #splc #stampoutstigma #starttheconversation #stopfuturetripping #stopthestigma #stressfultimes #takeatimeout\ #teachingmoment #cowardsmakememad #thebestgiftforanyone #theblamegame #theinnercritic #theriskisworththereward #thinkbig #thriftshopping #tomorrowisneverguaranteed #totalwellness #transformation #divorce #uncertainty #unity #vulnerabilityisthenewblack #wakeupgrateful #wardrobemalfunction #whiteprivilege #whodoyoucallat2am #wormycoward #wrapmeinreassurance #youarebeautiful #youcandoanything #youcanthaveitall #yummytocrummy 10 daily mantras for empowerment 10 minutes a day 4 questions 415-617-5291 4th grade fail 50th birthday a can of whoop ass a letter to my son a love letter to yourself a new way of being a positive mindset accentuate the positive accepting your divine gift addiction adversity advice advice & strategies affirmations ah hah moment anger seeds resentment anniversary celebration anti-racist anxiety art art journal art therapy attention seeking awareness barter battling the inner critic be the primary character in the story of your life. beautification beauty beauty myths becoming more visible being alone being present benefit of the doubt best version of myself bipoc birthday body and breath body positive body shaming brave doesn't have to be big bravely listen to your inner voice breath broke open broken heart building a community building inner wisdom cakeover cancer career catch you on the flip side good buddy! cbt celebrate diversity celebrate not celibate celebrating courage and resilience celebration change chasing validation checking in childhood memories choices choke under pressure christmas christmas parties clarity communication comparison queen compassion compelled to do more concealed weapons confessional confidence connection contentment coolville corona virus count your blessings courage courageous dialogue covid-19 cracking yourself up craig's list creating space dance darlene versak death decade of drama decorating delays depression is real destress developmentally different diamondeyes dirty laundry disabilities distractions diversity divorce divorced with kids do gooders do people change? don miguel ruiz don't bottle up your emotions don't quit don’t be drama queen eliminate stress embrace uncertainty emotional awareness emotional baggage emotional cleanse emotional cleansing emotional exits emotional recalibration emotional rollercoaster emotionally unavailable emotions emotions & emotional inventory empowerment end of the year review endhate equity ericadams1970 excuses expansion fabulous family fashion over 50 father's day fear fear disguised as control fear holds you hostage fear is holding you back fear of failure fed up feel it all feeling expansive feeling optimistic feelings find your voice find yourself finding beauty finding beauty everywhere finding confidence finding gratitude in the moment finding your power fine wine fixer upper relationships focused on the truth forgiveness fracles free advice free gift friendship from me to you fun garbage in garbage out gardening general girl power girlfriend chats girly girl glass ceiling go with the flow goals god box gratitude gratitude list grief grudge guarantee guest blogger guest bloggers guide for a good life guided meditation happiness happiness is my responsibility happy birthday hate free hate my body hater haters gonna hate having it all healthy boundaries heart of a warrior woman helicopter parents high school reunion holiday stress honesty hope housekeeping how big is your brave? how will people remember you? humor i am i am a human washing machine i am a work of art. i don't care what you think i eve everything you think i see you i will be heard. i will be seen. if you're happy and you know it thank your ex inclusion inner critic inner mentor inner voice integrity invite happiness to linger isolation it takes courage to be you it's a good thing i like you it's ok to cry judgment kaleidoscope karen schlaegel kindness labor of love laugh at yourself laughter learning from the past leave your comfort zone leaving your comfort zone lessie miller letting go letting go of expectations letting go of the past letting the past go life after divorce life is short light up the room limit your negative thinking living authentically living in the moment living in yesterday living on contingency lmao looking back to where i began looking forward to my future lortnoc loss of a parent love love me outloud love mom love yourself-no great gift low self-esteem manage your inner critic manifesting manifesto men mental fitness mental wellness middleaged bodies mind maintenance mindfulness practice mindset matters modeling good behavior moms and daughters monkey mind more than a pretty face mothers mother’s and daughters mother’s day move it! moving on after divorce mr. rogers my girlfriend voice my letting go ceremony my own worst critic my tank ran dry mystical machu picchu need for control need to vent negative thinking new beginnings new orleans new year new you no blame games no regrets not good enough nothing more badass than loving who you are numbing older and wiser on-line dating opiodcrisis opposites attract our new normal outsourcing discomfort overachiever overwelmed parenting parents patience pause pause and prioritize pausing for poise perfectionism perfectly imperfect badass periscope personal power personal responsibility personal sanctuary planting the seeds of hope pleasure principle plug into your power positive memory recall positive thinking post-divorce gratitude power play pp moment pray for peace prioritize your time procrastination psychology today putting fear aside quiet mind quiet time racial justice racism raising children ready to recieve recalibration recall recycle redefining the future reduce regrets relationships relationships & communication relaxation relaxation technique remove the stigma renovators & rescuers repurposing resentment resolutions respecting differences respond rather than react reuse sadness sadness is a verb salsa dancing same wavelength saving money saying goodbye scam second hand stress self-acceptance self-care self-esteem self-expression self-loathing #mygirlfriendvoice self-support system self-talk selfcare sense of humor setting intentions shame shedding limitations shelter in place simplify sisters of another mother sitting with discomfort smother and hover social obligations solo travel soul sisters of solace speak your truth spelling bee stay at home order stigma stop complaining stop the nonsense stop the stigma stress stress busters stress management stressfree struggling struggling accelerates growth subscribe substanceusedisorder sud super hero powers support surrender taboo take my advice talk back to negativity tall poppy syndrome texting while angry the 5 c's the conscous kid the fear factor the four agreements the happy truck the inner critic the office party the single life the soul the voices in my head theemotionalrollercoaster think positive this too shall pass thoughts matter three gifts to share with friends and strangers time for change too many parties too little time toxic thinking treat yourself triggers & the inner critic trust turning 50 turning shit into sunshine twa unemployed unplug unsolicted advice use your voice v is for vulnerability valerie frankel visualization volunteer vulnerability warrior woman ; responding from a place of power website launch wellness what you feed gets stronger what's the worst thing that can happen? white privilege will you have regrets? wisdom wishes for my kids women unite word association words are weapons too wounded healer writing wtf you are a fierce warrior! you are good enough you are the only one responsible for your life you have everything you need right now your inner critic your intuition your voice is your power yummy goes to crummy