If Your Happy and You Know it Thank Your Ex!!!#mygirlfriendvoice advice & strategies diamondeyes emotions & emotional inventory if you're happy and you know it thank your ex light up the room mindset matters post-divorce gratitude
If Your Happy and You Know it Thank Your Ex!!!
There was something electric in the air last Sunday. Everywhere I went I received a healthy amount of attention—both male and female. I had on jeans with a simple top, little make up and my hair had that “just blown in from the beach” look (aka three days without a shampoo). I was out and about, enjoying the company of friends after an afternoon dance workshop. I wasn’t dressed to impress by any means.
At a restaurant, an older gentleman sauntered over to ask me, “Do you always wear clothing to match your eyes? Your eyes are like Blue Diamonds. I am going to call you that, Blue Diamond!” I was flattered (I have a soft spot for sweet old men) until I realized Blue Diamonds sounds like a cleaning product — it is also a brand name for dog food so I am feeling less inclined to monogram my towels “B.D.” Still, that old geezer meant well. Such a cutie! You have to give him credit for coming over to chat.
Another man approached me to tell me that while he now has a girlfriend, he was guilty of having a crush on me for the last two years. He said, “The moment I looked into your eyes I felt a connection with you! I’ve always hoped we could get together but now I’m taken.” I paused and smiled. I practiced looking happily surprised rather than creeped out. It was a chance to practice kindness. I graciously thanked him and wished him a very long and healthy relationship. Mazel tov. Invite me to your wedding!
My favorite moment of the day was when a gentleman came over and said, “I’ve been watching you and how people react to you. You really light up the room. I wanted to come over and tell you.” I was momentarily speechless. (a rare moment, huh?) This was an impressive conversation starter and I was hooked. We continued to chat for another twenty minutes about topics that I love such as authenticity, positive energy and the advantages of living gratefully. How refreshing to have a real conversation with a stranger, especially a man! And then he left me, never asking for my phone number nor commenting about my eyes. Wait, don’t you like my eyes? LOL
Why was this conversation the best part of my day? Yes it was flattering to be approached but the BIG reason is that this stranger confirmed that the work I do internally is manifesting externally. My happiness is showing!
For years I wanted to be seen as the perfect wife, the dedicated mother and the consummate professional because I equated success in those roles with a happy life. It is not an easy formula. I was handing over my happiness to the “other half” of the equation; the husband, the child, the job!
Years later I realize that I am not going to be happy unless I become happy first; unless I love the perfectly flawed woman I have become! The root of my happiness thrives within me and is totally within my control. When I love myself, it is much easier to walk in the world. Happiness is contagious.
Do you find yourself saying things like,
* * * when I lose 20lbs, I will be happy
* * * when I get that promotion, I will be happy
* * * when I fall in love, I will be happy
So what about this very valuable irreplaceable moment? Can you be happy right now? It all starts with you and your commitment to shifting gears into happy drive. As they say, happiness is an inside job.
Let’s start a conversation. Please share what makes you happy, right now, today!! A few things on my list are: I found a free parking space while in San Francisco, I have clean sheets to look forward to tonight, I connected with a former colleague who makes me laugh, the tree outside my office must have a hundred little sparrows jumping around on the branches and finally, I said NO to my sweet cravings today and had boring healthy fruit instead. (Confession: will use the calories saved now for alcohol later!)
Tell me what makes you happy today? Please leave me a comment.
From the heart,
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how will people remember you? humor i am i am a human washing machine i am a work of art. i don't care what you think i eve everything you think i see you i will be heard. i will be seen. if you're happy and you know it thank your ex inclusion inner critic inner mentor inner voice integrity invite happiness to linger isolation it takes courage to be you it's a good thing i like you it's ok to cry judgment kaleidoscope karen schlaegel kindness labor of love laugh at yourself laughter learning from the past leave your comfort zone leaving your comfort zone lessie miller letting go letting go of expectations letting go of the past letting the past go life after divorce life is short light up the room limit your negative thinking living authentically living in the moment living in yesterday living on contingency lmao looking back to where i began looking forward to my future lortnoc loss of a parent love love me outloud love mom love yourself-no great gift low self-esteem manage your inner critic manifesting manifesto men mental fitness mental wellness middleaged bodies mind maintenance mindfulness practice mindset matters modeling good behavior moms and daughters monkey mind more than a pretty face mothers mother’s and daughters mother’s day move it! moving on after divorce mr. rogers my girlfriend voice my letting go ceremony my own worst critic my tank ran dry mystical machu picchu need for control need to vent negative thinking new beginnings new orleans new year new you no blame games no regrets not good enough nothing more badass than loving who you are numbing older and wiser on-line dating opiodcrisis opposites attract our new normal outsourcing discomfort overachiever overwelmed parenting parents patience pause pause and prioritize pausing for poise perfectionism perfectly imperfect badass periscope personal power personal responsibility personal sanctuary planting the seeds of hope pleasure principle plug into your power positive memory recall positive thinking post-divorce gratitude power play pp moment pray for peace prioritize your time procrastination psychology today putting fear aside quiet mind quiet time racial justice racism raising children ready to recieve recalibration recall recycle redefining the future reduce regrets relationships relationships & communication relaxation relaxation technique remove the stigma renovators & rescuers repurposing resentment resolutions respecting differences respond rather than react reuse sadness sadness is a verb salsa dancing same wavelength saving money saying goodbye scam second hand stress self-acceptance self-care self-esteem self-expression self-loathing #mygirlfriendvoice self-support system self-talk selfcare sense of humor setting intentions shame shedding limitations shelter in place simplify sisters of another mother sitting with discomfort smother and hover social obligations solo travel soul sisters of solace speak your truth spelling bee stay at home order stigma stop complaining stop the nonsense stop the stigma stress stress busters stress management stressfree struggling struggling accelerates growth subscribe substanceusedisorder sud super hero powers support surrender taboo take my advice talk back to negativity tall poppy syndrome texting while angry the 5 c's the conscous kid the fear factor the four agreements the happy truck the inner critic the office party the single life the soul the voices in my head theemotionalrollercoaster think positive this too shall pass thoughts matter three gifts to share with friends and strangers time for change too many parties too little time toxic thinking treat yourself triggers & the inner critic trust turning 50 turning shit into sunshine twa unemployed unplug unsolicted advice use your voice v is for vulnerability valerie frankel visualization volunteer vulnerability warrior woman ; responding from a place of power website launch wellness what you feed gets stronger what's the worst thing that can happen? 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