Beautification Cannot Be Outsourcedadvice & strategies beautification cbt emotions & emotional inventory mental wellness negative thinking positive thinking sadness triggers & the inner critic
Last Friday I drove by my neighborhood school and the marquee stated, “Beautification day is cancelled”. What? How could they do that? I was really amazed at my reaction.
Now I don’t have a clue what type of project was planned but it got “my dern thinker ah thinkin”. Why did it get cancelled? Why wasn’t beautification a priority?
One of the many gifts of “growing up and older” is that you realize self-beautification is the key to mastering a happy life. I am not talking about Botox and wearing fancy labels. That would be too easy! I am talking about making the commitment to do whatever you need to do in order to shine from within.
Beautification is shedding the clutter surrounding your heart that fertilizes negative thinking.
It is deciding to let go of what no longer fits, whether that be people, clothing, a job or a habit.
Beautification cannot be outsourced.
Recently I’ve been feeling so much sadness that frankly I worried I may be headed into a depression. But stop the presses! I came to realize that this sadness was different; very different than my time in the DARK PIT. When I was clinically depressed, my brain was mush and there was on ocean between my reality and the real world.
Today my active brain is acknowledging the sadness then reshaping or shedding the thought that creates the sadness. The sadness is in a loading zone—no long term parking allowed!
I’ve never had the courage to sit with uncomfortable feelings. Who wants to do that? Wade through disappointment, jealousy, doubt and fear? I would rather do just about anything else so I became quite comfortable over-scheduling myself or just stuffing those feelings for a later date. With the help of my support posse, I have developed a method I would like to share with you. If you really like it, please send cookies.
- Hello there [insert thought here]. Where do you come from? It is like meeting someone new and asking them where they live.
- [Thought speaks].
- How can I change this thought from a negative one into a positive one?
- Or is it such a useless thought that I can just let it go? (no re-gifting please)
For example, my “X” repeatedly called me the N-word; NEEDY. Sadly, I believed him. I told myself if I were smarter, stronger and worked harder, I could overcome my neediness. Well, thank goodness the cray cray fog has lifted!! I turn that negative thought to a positive one like this:
Although he says I am needy, I simply want to feel connected to that stupid Mother Fucker. It is a basic human need.
By the way, the thought doesn’t have to come from someone else. It could be your critical voice speaking to you. Same method applies! And don’t forget, if you like this, please send cookies!
From the heart,
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how will people remember you? humor i am i am a human washing machine i am a work of art. i don't care what you think i eve everything you think i see you i will be heard. i will be seen. if you're happy and you know it thank your ex inclusion inner critic inner mentor inner voice integrity invite happiness to linger isolation it takes courage to be you it's a good thing i like you it's ok to cry judgment kaleidoscope karen schlaegel kindness labor of love laugh at yourself laughter learning from the past leave your comfort zone leaving your comfort zone lessie miller letting go letting go of expectations letting go of the past letting the past go life after divorce life is short light up the room limit your negative thinking living authentically living in the moment living in yesterday living on contingency lmao looking back to where i began looking forward to my future lortnoc loss of a parent love love me outloud love mom love yourself-no great gift low self-esteem manage your inner critic manifesting manifesto men mental fitness mental wellness middleaged bodies mind maintenance mindfulness practice mindset matters modeling good behavior moms and daughters monkey mind more than a pretty face mothers mother’s and daughters mother’s day move it! moving on after divorce mr. rogers my girlfriend voice my letting go ceremony my own worst critic my tank ran dry mystical machu picchu need for control need to vent negative thinking new beginnings new orleans new year new you no blame games no regrets not good enough nothing more badass than loving who you are numbing older and wiser on-line dating opiodcrisis opposites attract our new normal outsourcing discomfort overachiever overwelmed parenting parents patience pause pause and prioritize pausing for poise perfectionism perfectly imperfect badass periscope personal power personal responsibility personal sanctuary planting the seeds of hope pleasure principle plug into your power positive memory recall positive thinking post-divorce gratitude power play pp moment pray for peace prioritize your time procrastination psychology today putting fear aside quiet mind quiet time racial justice racism raising children ready to recieve recalibration recall recycle redefining the future reduce regrets relationships relationships & communication relaxation relaxation technique remove the stigma renovators & rescuers repurposing resentment resolutions respecting differences respond rather than react reuse sadness sadness is a verb salsa dancing same wavelength saving money saying goodbye scam second hand stress self-acceptance self-care self-esteem self-expression self-loathing #mygirlfriendvoice self-support system self-talk selfcare sense of humor setting intentions shame shedding limitations shelter in place simplify sisters of another mother sitting with discomfort smother and hover social obligations solo travel soul sisters of solace speak your truth spelling bee stay at home order stigma stop complaining stop the nonsense stop the stigma stress stress busters stress management stressfree struggling struggling accelerates growth subscribe substanceusedisorder sud super hero powers support surrender taboo take my advice talk back to negativity tall poppy syndrome texting while angry the 5 c's the conscous kid the fear factor the four agreements the happy truck the inner critic the office party the single life the soul the voices in my head theemotionalrollercoaster think positive this too shall pass thoughts matter three gifts to share with friends and strangers time for change too many parties too little time toxic thinking treat yourself triggers & the inner critic trust turning 50 turning shit into sunshine twa unemployed unplug unsolicted advice use your voice v is for vulnerability valerie frankel visualization volunteer vulnerability warrior woman ; responding from a place of power website launch wellness what you feed gets stronger what's the worst thing that can happen? 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